Sunday, October 7, 2012

SAVE THE KITTEN-LOBSTERS! Why I realize looking up the dream dictionary is like diagnosing yourself medically via Webmd.

I dreamt that I was invited to someone's mansion who apparently had gourmet grocery store as part of his kitchen.  As I walked in awe through this amazing establishment, I'm in the exotic foods section where instead of having fresh meats and fish in the glass, they had...


They were scrawny, starved and had pleading meows.  The temperature was definitely cold and you could tell from the frost building up and their fur matted with icy wetness.  And then I realize, that they weren't just kittens, they were kitten-lobsters!

Instead of their usual furry bottom, they had lobster tails and then a kitten torso and head.  And then a second realization kicks in, the lobsters were slowly consuming the kitten.  Shocked by the cruelty of it all, I try to find a way to free them but there isn't one.  I begin to bang on the glass loudly as if by some random burst of strength chance it would break it.  I cry because I can't save the kittens and yet, empathized with the lobster's hunger and desperate measure.

I'm led away to outside of the mansion where I come across a healthy looking kitten and I become readily excited to hold the little one.  But then it turns into a blonde boy who exclaims I'M FREE!  I'M FREE!  And runs away thereafter.

It was SO vivid that it struck a frantic side of me - what does it all mean?!  (Uh, imagine that being melodramatically with fists being shaken in mid-air)

Cue quick scramble to google the dream dictionary.  This is what I found and you can find my commentary in italics.


"To see a kitten in your dream represents a transitional phase toward independence. You are ready to explore new things that life has to offer. Alternatively, the dream symbolizes innocence and purity."

 Alright, I can roll with this.  Kitten trapped under glass equals having a hard time transitioning towards independence.  That seems straightforward enough.  Check.

"To dream that you kill a kitten in your dream indicates that you have trouble expressing yourself in a personal relationship. You are feeling frustrated in this relationship."

 Well.  I didn't technically kill the kitten per se (Garfield heavens forbid!) but the kittens are slowly dying in my dream.  So...does that count or not?  I mean...I guess I have trouble expressing myself in a personal relationship but isn't that everyone?  Out of ALL the relationships you have in the world at this point in your life, there's bound to be at least one relationship where you have trouble expressing yourself.  I can prove this with one word:  FACEBOOK.

"To dream that a kitten turns into a puppy signifies a transformation in your personal life. You are moving away from only looking for your yourself to caring for somebody else. You are seeking companionship."

Are kitten-turned-puppies popular enough dreams to have made a slot into the grand dream dictionary?  Out of alllllllllll the animals, why puppies.  Why not...a full grown cat.  Or North American Condors.  Or more importantly, for my sake, lobsters.  Could one replace "puppies" with "lobsters" for personal interpretation customization?  Mad lib time.

"To see a lobster in your dream represents strength and persistence. You will hold your own ground and overcome minor difficulties and problems"

Mmmm-hmmm.  So.  If the lobster is eating the kittens, does that mean the strength and persistence is holding back my independence or supporting it?  Or does it mean I have the strength and persistence to seek companionship.

"To dream that you are eating lobster indicates that you will regain your confidence."

Okay.  But what if the lobster is eating a kitten.  Is the kitten some sort of meta self representation or like...not.  And if so, should I take it as a meaning reversal?


And then, I stopped.  After all this, I realized-- 

DUDE.  You're ridiculous.  You just dreamt about kitten-lobsters for hamster heaven's sake.  You can't apply these generic dream dictionary meanings to parallel your life!  

So I came up with a better dream interpretation for myself.  Check it out.

"To see a kitten in a dream means you like them in real life, you think they're cute, you probably visit each morning after you wake up, and you contribute to half of a million views on youtube videos of kittens wearing things on their heads.  If given the chance - yes, you would most certainly keep one as a pet.  You're probably a nice person."

"To see a lobster in a dream means you like to eat them.  You think they're delicious as well as other fellow crustaceans like crab and crawfish.  In fact, you probably ate crawfish somewhat recently and you think they look like baby lobsters.  You're hungry right now.  Go to your nearest sushi restaurant."

"To see a mutated version of a kitten-lobster where the lobster is consuming the bottom half of a kitten in your dream means you are in no position to keep a pet." 

So what can you take from all this?  Give me your dream and I'll interpret it for you.  
I'm as honest as they come and I will guarantee you 99.999% inaccuracy.

I should sleep.


  1. I'm surprised that you didn't dream about a hamster in a ball?
    But after reading your post I think I kind of understand the dream and I'm going to take a jab at deciphering. Normally when you combine animals they're normally within the same scope- mammal to mammal, fish to fish, etc. This time though the fact that there are elements of land and water represent you're balanced in a sense that you're vulnerable but you still have a hard exterior to crack. Also you dreamed of a mansion which means you're very ambitious but once you see the kittens, things aren't normally what they seem. Either that or there is some sense of underlying identity crisis.
    Wow...I got in it really deep. So sorry! But that's what I was able to interpret.

  2. I like deep. And hey, you're totally on the nose about an underlying identity crisis.

    I want the hamsters in the ball dreams back.